Friday, July 22, 2016

It's time to begin the weekend...

It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday...
Without fail, every Friday since the release there is a moment or five where I sing about the day. Rebecca Black's melody keeping rhythm in my head. I know what you're thinking.

How can someone who claims to be snarky like Rebecca Black? Haven't you read her comments section on YouTube? She's a hack! It was all auto-tuned.

Calm yourself.

One of my favorite things in life is how people will become so passionately against something that has absolutely no impact on their life. It's a song, not a law or regulation. Don't like it? Don't listen to it. #ProblemSolved.

Another semi-contraversal activity happening today is focused in downtown Midland. Individuals who have been working all week will be moving through town in packs, searching, hunting, posting about Pokemon.

*Gasp!* The horror. The humanity. How could someone possibly play such a dangerous and ill-conceived game?!

Let me take you through a few reasons you should settle down and get over yourself. #FastenYourSeatbeltsKids.

5. It won't hurt you.

If you don't like it, don't play it. But, if you don't play it...just shut up about it. Don't ask me what a Pokestop is or what stores sell Pokeballs. If you won't give it a chance, you have no right bombard me with questions. Charizard may be sad that you don't want to play, but he won't burn you to a crisp either.

People have died, been stabbed, and have talked to strangers all because of this game!

Yes, I know it has been reported to hurt some...but we'll talk more about that later.

4. It's helping people be active.

I must admit, I've even went on some additional walks and bike rides. When I could have been watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother, I chose to get fresh air and a little exercise instead. It was all in the name of hatching some Pokemon eggs.

What's a Pokemon egg?

Refer back to #5, or just leave. Life only gets harder from here.

3. It's nostalgic.

No, I never owned a gaming system as a kid. My dad had his old Atari, and I definitely mastered the destruction of asteroids, but there was no Gameboy in my childhood home. Instead, I remember fondly babysitting children down the street, watching them play for hours.

That's enough, get upstairs and do your homework. These games are going to rot your brain.

And then I'd sit in the living room and catch Pokemon, and laugh and laugh and laugh. #Winning.

2. It's another example of natural selection.

Back to that whole people are getting hurt. Let's be honest, the loss of a life is never something to discredit, but to blame it on a mobile game is ridiculous. If you wondered into a bad neighborhood, got robbed and stabbed, how can you possibly claim a mobile game made you do it?!

In 2011, a woman was caught on camera at a mall. While texting, she managed to walk straight into a fountain and fell in. She was injured. Did we blame this on the person she was texting? I'm sure her mom is in fact not at fault. Did we blame the wireless provider or the mobile phone manufacturer? Nope.

History and science argue survival of the fittest and natural selection. Walking around finding Pokemon may actually make some nerds the fittest. And, let's be honest, it's starting to weed some not too bright individuals out.

1. It's the biggest mobile game in U.S. history.

It's passed Candy Crush! The very game that got me through my pregnancy-insomnia-ridden 2am bouts of energy has had fewer users than Pokemon Go! #Epic.

All my friends agree it's lame.

Your friends are lying. There is a Pikachu behind their house and they don't want you to know. #NoPikachuForYou.

Gotta catch 'em all.


miranda wieber said...

What does Flappy Bird rate?

Snarky Marcie said...

Becky G. said...

Pokestop? Pokeballs? Pikachu? Sigh......think I'll go see if Fixer Upper is on.... ;) :P