Sunday, August 28, 2016

Five ways to prepare for the renaissance festival.

For those who think the renaissance is for weirdos, 

you're wrong.

The Renaissance Festival is more that a place for weirdos to dress up and pretend to be anything other than a Sandwich Artist from Subway. Sure, it's mostly weirdos...but it's also fun. There is good food, entertainment, lots and lots of walking, and activities for the kiddos.

That being said, if you're a Festival newbie like I was just hours ago, take my advice below.

Five ways to prepare yourself for the Renaissance Festival (and, no, it isn't learning to say 'Huzzah' or 'Good Morrow').

Step 1: Learn how to spell renaissance.


If you're going to the festival, and you care one iota about your popularity, you're going to be posting about the event. Do yourself a favor and learn how to spell that main attraction. This also comes in hand when you need to google or search for directions.

Besides, as adults we learn far too few words. There is no way that we know them all, yet we do not apply ourselves to grow and expand our vocabulary. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand that society is becoming more and more efficient (lazy) with our speech. But, wouldn't you feel accomplished if you spent a few minutes each day learning something new? #YOLO

Ren·ais·sance
ren-uh-sahns

noun
1. the activity, spirit, or time of the great revival of art, literature, and learning in Europe beginning in the 14th century and extending to the 17th century, marking the transition from the medieval to the modern world.

2. the forms and treatments in art used during this period.

#LearningIsNotSoHard

Step 2: Prepare to see fairies.


The fairies, in my opinion, were the most confusing part. We are supposed to be reviving the art, literature,and learning from Europe from the 14th to 17th century...and who knew there were so many fairies?!

To be honest, the Festival wasn't as medieval as I imagined. It's not authentic, and it doesn't really try to be. It's unique, that's for sure. And hey, lots of props to the fairies out there today in the 80+ degree and high humidity. It's amazing you didn't sweat all the make-up off. #Congrats

Step 3: Wear shoes you do not like.


The Michigan Renaissance Festival is located in the middle of nowhere. You park in a dirt, grass, stone parking lot and start walking down a path. the path goes from decent wood chips to thick, sloppy mud. The trail makes you feel like you're in a scene of The Walking Dead. And, depending on who you're walking the path with, you may wish yourself into the world of the apocalypse.

There is a lot of mud, but you can save your shoes...for the most part. Just be prepared. They didn't have Fergie shoes in the Renaissance...so don't wear yours. #TheseAreMyFaireShoes

Step 4: Consider dressing "normal".


Sure, you may have seen the episode of The Big Bang Theory where they go to the Renaissance Festival and dress up to blend in. Sheldon even fashions his own undergarments our of his Leonard's bed sheets.

But, truth be told you will be hot, dirty, and using bathrooms that make you feel instantly forever unclean. Do yourself a great favor, don't wear a great outfit. Settle for good enough and weather appropriate. Besides, you'll be seeing a lot of fairies and wenches...

Step 5: Practice your medieval offense.


There is plenty of fun to be had at the Festival. Part of which is archery, knife throwing, and axe throwing. Who wouldn't take an opportunity to practice their medieval combat? Before you spend your $5.00, make sure you lower your standards. The equipment is shotty at best, but you'll feel cool doing it.








There was a time in my life that I wouldn't be caught dead at a Renaissance Festival. It's 5-steps down from the County Fair. However, it's an experience that I feel we should all have. Even if you walk away with a half-eaten turkey leg, and regretting the chain-maille you just purchased...it's an experience that you can claim. Don't be afraid to live a little.

So many people think they need to travel far to experience new things, but it is really that they are too self-righteous to try the many experiences close to home. Do not be that person. Explore your neighborhood. If you don't know all there is waiting only a few hours away, what makes you think you're ready to cross oceans? Spend a little time in your own backyard, you may find something awesome.

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