Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Three ways to tame road rage (or not).

If only other drivers could hear me in my car.


What are you doing?

Way to use your blinker. Yup. So helpful.

It says, Incoming Traffic Does Not Stop, but you clearly can't read!

Road work? Again?

Some mornings, I feel that I would be better off staying home and off the road. On the way to my morning coffee (which is technically after my at-home morning coffee), I struggle to be even slightly patient. Old drivers, new drivers, they all drive me a little insane.

3. Take it personally.

The rich, delicious caffeine. It may be four stoplights away, but it's so close. Sure, all these people driving slow in front of you are probably purposefully ruining your morning. They clearly woke up and decided, today is the day they are going to drive annoyingly sluggish. It's not that they are trying to make it to their destination safely, or that they want to abide by the speed limit, or even that they are lost. It is definitely a malicious act to mess with you. Take it personally, it's the only rational thing to do in these moments.

Scream at them. Wave your arms and display a look that a 15-year-old uses while saying, 'Ew'. #DrivingProbs

2. Make a game out of it.

If someone wants to ruin your morning traffic experience, the least you can do is wreck the experience of others. Because that's what we do what life gets us down, right? We bring everyone to the party of our pain and suffering. Don't be content that life really is pretty good, and you have a ton to be thankful for in life. Instead, take this crucial opportunity to pay-it-backwards.

Someone cuts you off in the morning, you should pullout in front of at least two others to compensate. Be petty, you've earned it. When someone doesn't give you room to exit a parking lot, make sure you do the same to others. It's all a game to be won, or lost. #Winning

1. Pray that everyone else gets better.

Pray that everyone else learns to drive. You can only do so much. You've already caught on to their nasty agenda, and you've pushed the suffering on to others. Now, you need to pray that everyone else becomes patient and capable drivers. Obviously, you're perfect and don't need to change a thing. Pray for others to come up to your level. #Perfection

Did you catch it? The ridiculousness of that list. Yet, I'm sure that like me, you can find things you unfortunately relate to. Sometimes, I do drive slow just to make sure people can't get into my lane. They just want to cut me off. And sometimes, I get pretty embarrassingly dramatic with my driving rhetoric. 

Like everyone, sometimes I get so caught up in the failures of other people that I forget to work on my own shortcomings. 

Be brave to admit that you make mistakes, and you contribute occasionally to the disfunction of this society. Then fix it. Join me in becoming a self-aware driver, and human being. Let's all work on our own issues, and quit worrying or trying to point out other's issues. #BeBrave #BeBetter

Thanks for reading!

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