Monday, September 26, 2016

Dear Mr. HusbandsCar,

Dear Mr. HusbandsCar,

I loathe you.

Why can't you be more like my car? Why must you drag yourself so low to the ground? You're not in high school, grow up.

When I drive you home at night, you really make me hate you. I go to turn on the windshield wipers, because it's drizzling and I'd appreciate the opportunity to see the road, and instead I somehow turn off all the lights on the car. 

Could all the car companies get together, have some coffee, and decide what the best, safest, and most efficient locations are for functions and switches? Yeah, yeah, you can tell we aren't going to get technical here. I don't know what these things are called, but I would think that certain functions would be in easy reach...but not all of them!

In my car, a wonderful Ford Escape, I am able to turn off the lights, turn them on, or switch them to automatic...but, it isn't in easier reach that the windshield wipers.

Thank you, Mr. HusbandsCar, for helping me give an ominous signal to the vehicle in front of me. They proceeded to pull over to the shoulder of the road. Of course, I don't blame them because I messed with the darn lights a few times trying to locate the infamous wiper blades. 

So thank you again, Mr. HusbandsCar for making me duck my head and pass the vehicle that probably though we were meeting for a drug deal. Just kidding, it was in Midland, Michigan a.k.a. Sparkle City were drugs never come and everyone is safe and successful. Our biggest concern is arguing with those frustrating Millenials on their so-called city improvements, and of course complain about you.

Let's just agree that I will go back to my Escape, and you can go back to my husband. I hope you two are happy together. As for me, I will only ever agree to being a passenger in your frustrating excuse for a car. 

Sincerely,

Snarky Marcie

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