Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Dear Mrs. Flu

Dear Mrs. Flu,

You are a bunch of words my momma taught me not to say. 

Thank you for ruining the end of my weekend and start of my week. The fever has been great, but you can take it back now. I really enjoyed going from chills to sweats, unable to get comfortable or even sane.

Sure, you let me know you were coming when you infected my toddler. But she's a trooper and most of us assumed it was teething. Thank you, Mrs. Flu, for teaching me that my toddler handles sickness better than I do. Of course, no one is waiting on me. No one is cuddling me when I'm achy. No one is serving me my favorite fruits and keeping me hydrated. And, I don't get the luxury (okay, maybe not luxury) of a diaper. Nope, I have a momma's bladder and the increased fluids that will me to recovery help me get up every half hour or so. Really makes sleeping or resting great. At least I'm getting my exercise.

Thank you, Mrs. Flu, for coming at inopportune times. As a child, I appreciated when you would get me out of school. As an adult, I feel trapped in my house with me toddler, and would like to rejoin society. But, you're BF, Mr. Fever, has been hanging around a couple days.

Mr. Fever really is the worst house guest. No matter what I'm doing, how I'm laying down, or what I'm wearing...Mr. Fever makes me want it another way. The blankets are too rough on my sensitive skin. The tea that was supposed to warm me up is now inconvenient since it feels like 150 degrees. Oh, and you can tell Mr. Fever that illness doesn't happen to everyone, it doesn't have to be that common, and it is a big deal. Really, you and your boyfriend are no longer welcome in my house. 

Go away. Maybe then, Mrs. Healthy Golightly will return.

Your enemy,

Snarky Marcie

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